“..Is it too soon to say perfect?”

-Mayday Parade

I never thought this song could mean and would mean so much. But that’s the thing now isn’t it? We never know. We just never know. That’s what I’m all about this very moment. About knowing and not knowing. It’s such a flood of feelings I’m so confused, I’m lost and I don’t know where I am and how I got there in the first place.

One second I was in the dumps, out and down. Next thing I know, I’m on top of the world, my words have hit home. But before I know it, the ground’s been pulled out from under my feet. I’ve lost it all, I’m just so confused. I’ve never been more disillusioned in my entire life. And I can’t blame anyone. I don’t want to blame anyone. This time I have to take up the responsibility. For my own bafflement.

I just want to know. I want to know, that’s all. If you’d only tell me, everything will be so much easier and I’d finally have the duct tape taken off my eyes. I can’t see a thing, I can’t comprehend. It’s like, senses fail. All I’ve got is the darkness, the silence and the facts thrown at me. Thrown, and so they’re all messed up. I can’t get them in the right order, can’t understand. And I try to find where I fit in. I know I have to be there somewhere, somewhere in the storyline.

Labels: personal things