“We could make love not war and live with peace in our hearts.”
-A Little Respect; Wheatus
Gee. What was I thinking? Sometimes the naked intricacies of life drive us into sheer insanity, don’t you agree? I’m alright now, better, brighter; all I needed was a little love and I was given it. Gee, life would be so much simpler if everyone just knew how to love a little more. It’s all we need, just a little more love in this cruel life, cruel world.
“But what Chels thinks of most of the time is herself,” she says.
I can’t say that doesn’t burn, that it doesn’t cut right through me like a newly sharpened knife with jagged edges. It hurts me to think that after all I’ve done, after all the mess that I had to go through, that I still am going through, in fact, that people can still say this about me. But, who are they to be blamed? It’s not like anyone knows what exactly is going on with me anyway... It just hurts that the things I do never really get acknowledged to the point that sometimes I think I’m just a mere waste of space. A waste of space that could, oh too easily, be filled in by someone else...
I guess I am selfish, but it burns to know that some people think I don’t give a shit. After everything... after everything I’ve just done, what I had to put myself through just to make the people I love happy. I can be selfish about little things, yes, I can, but I know that I do give a care about the bigger things, the things that actually matter. I do give. But I don’t think anyone appreciates that.
Or maybe that’s how I think I am. Maybe I really don’t care about others but myself. If that’s how it is, then why I am feeling the pain? If I had been selfish, then I guess I’d be selfish to the point that I’ve numbed myself to all human frailty and weakness, to pain. If I had been selfish, then why do I still give a shit about the people I care about?
You know sometimes, I just wish I could disappear off of the face of this earth and this isn’t about the accusation of me being selfish anymore... I’m talking about how I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks. I wish I’d never existed in this place, with all these people. I wish that I hadn’t been born just so that I could be here right now, to cause all this misery within people I love. I wish that I was someone else... rather than myself, me, whose existence has caused too many complications. I wish I was never here, that I could just disappear; just so I won’t be a problem to the people I care about anymore.
I guess I’m just the fault, the mistake, the flaw in what could’ve been sheer perfection. At times, I just wish that I’d hit my head someplace hard enough to cause amnesia. Amnesia of the past two months. They had been the best of my entire life, yet it was also the most painful two months. The best, in its imperfections. I wish I could just forget. So they’d forget about me.
I wish I could just disappear into nothingness, so that I’d forget, and be forgotten, just so that the people I care about the most can carry on without me hindering them. Without me, holding them back all because they care about me too. I wish I had never caused all this, I wish I wasn’t me. I wish I was “back to the person I used to be, back when you were there for me”. I can’t take myself right now. I can’t.
But I’m not looking for pity, I don’t stoop that low. I’m not asking for attention either. I just wish things were different. I wish things were better, brighter. I wish.
“My heart is on my sleeve; wear it like a bruise or black eye.”
–Chicago Is So Two Years Ago; Fall Out Boy
So the weekend was fairly average. I almost broke one of my own universal laws actually. The Never Be Without My Friends on a Weekend Law. I’ve made it a rule never, never to be home alone on a weekend. It seems like a seemingly low level of being pathetic, to me at least. And I almost reached that level yesterday. But I ended up going to the mall and hanging out for just about a couple of hours with Rona and Miko. It was only for bit and we didn’t do much, but hey, at least I wasn’t in the house going mad. (Seriously... I go mad.)
Strangely enough, to me, being at home, particularly alone, with no one else but a TV with no cable and a bunch of over-watched DVDs, is like being alone on Christmas Day. Alone on a normal weekday is fine, but alone on a weekend? Gee, that’s alone alone. I just can’t handle that, no sir.
So... it’s National Day tomorrow. Gee, and we’re performing. After one whole month and a half of practice, it’s all gonna be over tomorrow. I’m sure as heck not gonna miss practicing in the afternoons at all. I mean come on, getting burnt like that, how can you expect me to? My arms are bloody darker than the rest of my body; I’m frigging comparable to a very badly colored drawing of a girl done by particular Kindergartner specifically color blind to the different shades of brown. Definitely not going to miss practice, but I will, most definitely, miss missing class. Doing that everyday, I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t mind at all.
In case you haven’t noticed... I’m not really the patriotic stereotype. I mean, being forced to do this dance is one thing, extorted to toast under the sun while wearing a very badly designed costume and handling rather, literally, stinky props, is another but being forced to wear a tudong? Okay, that’s where I draw the line. I am SO not wearing a tudong and there’s nothing you can do to make me! [supposedly being stubborn but knowing that she’s going to have to anyway] Honestly. I look like ridiculous, with a capital R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S, in a freaking tudong. And I’m not just saying that!
[Qawi puts tudong on Chels]
Chels: Well?
Qawi: Wow. You look like... my mom.
Chels: I’m guessing that’s not a compliment?
Everybody: [laughs at Chelsea]
Chels: [hastily pulls off tudong] Okay, I’m never wearing that again!
Eddie suggests I wear it the way Madonna would wear a scarf. And honestly, I tried. All I did was end up looking like a disgrace to the Muslims. Wouldn’t want that now, would I? I might cause a premature Armageddon between Catholics and Muslims.
Muslim Dude: WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Catholic Dude: War?! WHAT?!
Random Dude: Peace and love, mate.
Muslim Dude: We caught this teenager [holds up Chelsea in a tudong] trying to mock us Muslims. Trying to make us look funny eh? I’m not having it. WARRRRRRRR!
Random Dude: Peace and love, mate.
Catholic Dude: [confused] What?
I guess all I have to do now is keep my fingers crossed and hope Izaq forgets to bring my tudong tomorrow. Yeap, I lent it to him. Only thing is... I don’t know whether him forgetting it on purpose would actually do me any good. They probably have like, millions of tudongs saved especially for me tomorrow just in case I do try to chuck mine. But it would get on my teachers’ nerves. Not that I’ve pissed them off enough already, I’m already on their bad side.
I know, me, Chelsea, on the teachers’ bad sides. Pretty odd but... during this one and a half month period, I’ve managed to majorly tick off my teachers, especially the new Commerce teacher. She loathes the heck out of me. I mean come on, all I’ve ever done was:
1. Skip off practice at least 3 dozen times by
2. Attending only every other practice alternately which doesn’t do me much good because
3. I only arrive for the first half and after break, I run off never to be seen again until further notice.
4. Get left behind by my bus only because I lost sight of them for like, half a second.
5. Wear a colored t-shirt which HAS the bloody school logo on it. Honestly. Since when was wearing my yellow house shirt a major crime punishable by law?
6. Go to the loo without asking permission once, but the next
7. Going to the loo WITH permission only never to show up until it’s time for the bus ride back to school.
8. Procrastinate a lot, much to the inconvenience of teachers and uh,
9. Refuse point blank to wear my tudong. I’m not even Muslim, so bite me.
Not much, I know. It’s like there’s this thing about me that really pisses the muck out of her. Whatever, at least I’m not the one being highly illogical by thinking that me wearing my yellow shirt is a simply attempt to attract attention. Oh please, like I haven’t got enough attention already. And besides, I don’t go looking for attention, attention finds me.
So here’s how the scene tomorrow might go (according to Izaq, he wrote this and made me quote it down), the part where Izaq actually does bring my tudong, but we pretend he’s left it at home just to get Azzy’s (the highly illogical teacher, that’s not really her name, but let’s call her that) blood pressure up. FYI, she’s tiny, less than 5 feet tall, yet she can be sooooo irksome. Amazing how someone that size can be such a pain in the arse.
Part one:
Chels: I DONT HAVE MY TUDONG! [hides grin]
Azzy: WHAT!? YOU... YOU... [turns into Azzy Hulk]
Chels: Just kidding :3
Azzy: RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!
Chels: Oh, my God.. RUN!
Azzy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
And here’s part two:
Chels: [runs and hides behind Izaq]
Azzy: AZZYSMAAASHHHHHHHHHH!
Izaq: Oh crap.
Azzy: [smashes Izaq]
Izaq: You call that a smash? Midget.
Azzy: [faints]
Chels, Izaq: Chelzaqoo duo! EPIC WIN!
Azzy: .....rrrrrrrrrrRR.
Izaq: Shut up!
Azzy: [dies]
Ha-ha. Tell me about it. Well, I gotta go get lost in my bed now. Don’t wanna look like a zombie on National Day now, do I? Also don’t want to be left behind by the bus to stadium, it leaves at 5-freaking-30 AM tomorrow. Geez! Not a soul would be awake at that time! Well, certainly not a soul like mine. But anyway, if they do indeed leave me behind (again), whose loss is it really?
Goodnight fellas. I’m sooooo gonna burn tomorrow morning. Just great.
19-Feb-09 10:16 PM Chuan
Going to the mall tomorrow, Nina’s orders. Get to Neo at 3.
19-Feb-09 10:17 PM Nina
People, mall tomorrow. Chuan’s idea.
19-Feb-09 10:18 PM Chuan
Not going to the mall, Joe’s busy. Sorry, Nina.
10:48 PM; 19th February
And that is how volatile life can be. One second you’re going, next second you’re not. One second, life’s perfect bliss, the next, you wish you’d just disappear off of the face of this earth. One second, everything’s going according to plan, next second, you’re struggling for a Plan B. One second—
It is now 12.30 noon on the 20th of February. Yep. As to why there was a huge time gap, my mom was nagging at me ever so annoyingly to get to bed. My parents often complain about me being devoid of sleep, but whenever I sleep in till noon time (that would give me about a good 12 hours of sleep), they get mighty, mighty pissed. Gee, parents. I can never understand them. [shrugs]
But going back to the point of this entry, this simply proves how fickle life is. One second, you’re writing your next entry, absolutely certain you can post it up in 15 minutes, and the next second, you’re in your bed, sulking, wondering when you lost the right to stay up late.
One second, you have the world in your hands, the next; you realize that the world doesn’t belong to you at all. One second, you’re on the streets, abandoned and cold, and the next, you’ve found home, thinking you’ll never leave. In that second, you finally found home, but the next, you’re out on the streets once again, rained on.
One second, you find everything you ever wanted in the palm of your hands, the next second; it all falls away from the space between your fingers. One second, you’ve found someone who filled in your gaps, who filled the holes in you perfectly, and the next second, they leave, and consequently, you find holes, bigger holes, in you once again. One second, you think that you’ve found the best part of yourself, and the next second, you find yourself kissing that part of you goodbye.
Life is just so... unstable. So, is it true when they say, good things can never last forever? I have yet to find out. I refuse to believe that forever doesn’t exist. I refuse to believe that things can be ended ever so easily. I refuse to believe that marriages don’t last forever; I refuse to believe that people would really leave you. I refuse to believe in the end of friendships, in the end of life. I refuse to believe in the absolute end of all good things. In the end of things that meant the world to you. In the end of all things home. I refuse to believe that you can lose everything in a split second. I refuse to believe in the unhappy end to things.
I don’t reckon it’s denial. I just refuse to believe that God would leave us a miserable heap of what has been. Someday, everything will be alright. Someday, we’ll forever find ourselves in that first second, the one, where everything’s perfect. Where you won’t lose home, where you won’t have to struggle for a Plan B. Where you wouldn’t have to fight for anything because everyone knows it’s all yours. The one second where you have the world and it belongs to you, and only you. Someday, I’ll find myself in that second. Someday, I’ll find home once again.
Labels: personal things
And that was the most bizarre Valentine’s Day ever. It was about four days ago, and so the blood rush that ensued the day has by far been worn out already. It was a great day, yes. I went out with Rona, Miks, Kiks, Mina, Izaq, Justeen, Janno & Marlie. We met Jia and Jaya, these super cool twins that Miko introduced to us. (Actually, I knew them from ages ago, but that was literally ages ago, I met them when I was like, what, one? They definitely don’t remember me as that pudgy little kid from yesterday, well; they don’t remember me at all. Although I do remember them being huge, now I tower over them like Lady Liberty towers over New York Harbour.) They’re just about the most spontaneous twins ever and what they lack in height, they make up by being awesome.
I didn’t spend a dime on Valentine’s Day. Oh wait—I did. I used up all my money to get my bestfriend a rose. That’s how good a bestfriend I can be. Not. We ate at Cheezbox, and to say the least, the food’s not that bad at all. Really. Carbonara... good. And after eating, we just hung out and talked about a lot of things in particular, watching the clouds drag by the four p.m. sky. Good times.
After about a couple of hours of chilling—well I guess I can’t really say we were strictly ‘chilling’. There was a lot of running and chasing involved, around parking lots, I think there was this one instant where I almost, almost got run over by a Range Rover while chasing Janno (he nicked the chocolates I got from Kiks and Rona) around the parking lot over at Unitech.
Actually I felt like a major track star athlete that day. I did so much running; I oughta have won a Nobel Prize or something. There was this one point where Mina & I ran from the mall to the bridge over at Unitech. Kay, maybe it wasn’t that far, but I was exhausted by the time we got there (we discreetly ran off to buy Kiks and Rona Valentine’s Day gifts, a mug for him, a rose for her).
The longest run was from the fourth floor of the mall all the way to Fratini’s at Centrepoint, barely dodging shoppers and traffic. I was running my ass off, people were staring. I was running actually, ‘cause my Neo mates were having a farewell dinner for Joe at Fratini’s and frankly, I was one hour late and seriously had to bolt. I reached the cool and pasta-smelling air of Fratini’s looking like I was suffering from a severe case of asthma. They saved me a slice of pizza; I gladly stuffed the whole thing in my mouth after spitting out the anchovies (no, I don’t fancy anchovies much). I was late so by the time I got there, everyone was pretty much finished eating.
As to why I was sixty minutes late... me, Izaq, Justeen, Marlo or Kael or Marlie, whichever way you people call him, and Janno were busy scaring the piss out of ourselves on the fourth floor of the Centrepoint Hotel. Seriously. I think we spent about an hour on a corridor on the fourth floor, pretending to see shadows and ghostly apparitions. And we tried prank calling the others (Miko, Mina, Rona and Kiks, who were on the second floor pool area) into thinking we really were being haunted up there but no, they knew us too well to fall for it. Too well. But heck, it was fun. Until we got kicked out. Again.
Oh and I remember having a biting contest with Kiks. I lost. Goddamit.
Chels: I lost the biting contest. ):
Izaq: Chelsea... I’m so disappointed in you.
I know. I have this insane rep for being a biter and oh my God, I lose a biting contest. Hey man, Kiks has like, insane incisors! Sharp like razor blades. Ooooh, razor blades.... [shudder]. (It’s an inside joke.) After he let go of my arm, it was all purple and bruised and swelling. The swelling’s gone now, but there’s a scar where his teeth cut through my skin. Grr.
I demand a rematch. I gotta get my rep up! I do not like being beaten, you have to know that much about me.
The bite mark’s kinda like solid proof that last Saturday night did happen. It’s a bit blurry right now. Just like Richelle’s 16th party. Oh, now that night was blurry. That even happen? I dunno, whatever.
Anyway, lemme sum of the highlights of our little Valentine’s Day soiree at the mall/Gadong:
01. Meeting Jia & Jaya (for the second time in my life in about ten years). Wicked cool twins, I swear.
02. The 3 o’ clock lunch at Cheezbox. Carbonara... good. And I didn’t spend a single cent, food was on Miko. The bill? $82.50.
03. Discovering the beach at Gadong. Yes sir, Gadong has a beach. A lousy one, but it’s still a beach to us. We even found a frigging island!
04. Hanging out by the ‘river’. Good times, mellow times, stupid times.
05. Izaq getting stood up by his date. Not that it matters, none of us had dates anyway. It was just a simple hangout with mates and not dates.
06. Watching the ridiculous antics played out by the boys. You know how boys are. Especially Izaq. The most mature of the lot. [sarcasm intended]
07. Running around Gadong. Literally.
08. Hanging out on the fourth floor of Centrepoint.
09. Getting kicked out of the fourth floor at Centrepoint. I suppose if we hadn’t gotten kicked out, we would’ve stayed there for hours and hours at on end.
10. Joe’s farewell dinner at Fratini’s. I was an hour late and missed out most of the fun, but heck, I was at Centrepoint getting stoned. Nott.
11. Buying each other Valentine’s Day gifts. Such an affair. It’s just too sweet. Mina and I totally mellowed out when Kiks and Rona got us chocolates. They melted though and was all gooey when I finally got to eat them. Oh well, I’m never throwing away the box, no siree. Miks almost murdered Kiks for beheading the rose he gave Rona by sitting on it. It became even when Miks broke the mug Mina & I gave to Kiks. Gee, that was a waste of 15 bucks.
12. The amount of emotional trauma felt that day, or rather, night. I’m not saying anymore.
Yes, t’was a great day. It’s been four days so I don’t feel that much hyped up about it, but I was totally sugar high when I got home. As for what I got Valentine’s Day?
01. Two roses from three different people.
02. Chocolates.
03. A tiny balloon.
04. A $40 novel.
05. A shirt.
06. A stuffed lion.
07. A million hugs.
08. A bite. With a scar to top it off.
09. Other unmentionables.
It’s not much. But I do love the chocolates. Yay me. Yep, t’was probably the most bizarre Valentine’s Day so far. Yep, so far.
Labels: good times, hanging out, people, Valentine's, weekends
2:17 PM. My mind wanders to the memory of this time exactly 24 hours ago. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, it’s like taking some overtly poisonous and toxic drug, it makes you high, like nothing else matters when you do it. That’s because the pain sinks in later. The aftermath of my actions is just too much to bear, way too much for the human heart to cope with. You said that people can cope with so much more than mere weakness... I can’t.
It felt so right at the time, it was like nothing else mattered. Yes, it was too soon to say perfect. Too soon to say anything, everything. The act was right, the reason behind it was wrong. Where the act would’ve healed hearts, sealed hearts, where the act would’ve made everything fall into right into place, where doing it meant a million things to do with love, where doing it would make you feel on top of the world, where it can calm every fret, so severe, it can change your life, it did quite the opposite to me. Sure, I was on top of the world, yet in that one solitary moment, the ground pulled under from beneath my feet. Fall, fall, crash. It shattered everything. It gave me that one high, and of course, the higher you fly, the harder you fall, I came crashing down real hard, real, real hard.
Everything was found and then lost in that one moment. Just about everything. I lost what home meant to me. I lost the one thing that was close to being my whole world. I know I shouldn’t have done that, letting it mean almost everything to me. It means that when lose it, I’ll be losing almost everything. Well, it’s a human weakness, and I’m still human. I’m no Superman.
I don’t regret my actions. I don’t regret what I’ve done. And I wouldn’t change a thing for the most, except the circumstances in which I’ve done it. I would change the reasons, I would change the feelings, and I would numb my own pain, especially my own feelings so I won’t be like this right now for your sakes. But no, I’m not God, I’m just Chelsea. And being me, I’ll have to live with it and get by.
In time, maybe I’ll forget. Forget how that one moment made me whole, complete, and how it broke me too, in complete irony. But I’m ready to pick up the fragments and to attempt to piece them together. It could take a day, a week, even six months. But in time, I’ll get myself together, and maybe, maybe then, that last missing piece of my jigsaw puzzle will hit home.
Labels: people, personal things
“Just remember... if the world didn’t suck, we’d all just fall off.”
-Trevor Myers
****
“Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems, which, without them, we wouldn’t have in the first place.”
Darn, darn, darn that essay writing competition. You see, I was forced, yes, forced, into this competition surprisingly, as decent as I am at writing, I’m lousy when it comes to actually competing. Maybe it’s the nerves, I dunno, but I just can’t write anything decent if it involves other people and awards, no sir. But the point is that my writing skills have been knocked senseless right now. At least... I think it’s knocked senseless.
Anything that’s close to being decorous has left my brain ever since last week. Teacher English made me join this competition and so I grudgingly consented to do it. After about 500 words into the essay, I stopped clean dead. I don’t know. I just became so speechless. Speechless in writing, that is. All the ideas, all the words, they just seemed to... disappear off to someplace where I can’t grasp ‘em. WHERE’D YOU GO? God, send me some inspiration please!
****
Happy 16th Birthday to both Rebecca and Zim Z. :D:D
Love. (:
****
The skin on my arms is now one shade darker. I think. Or maybe it was already that much tanned and I just haven’t noticed. Well if it is, I blame the school, I have to bloody stand in the bloody heat during bloody assembly simply because nobody bothered making the shed wide enough to give shade to those who oh-so-unfortunately find themselves standing in the back of the line, like myself for example. Well, I suppose it must be better than standing in the front where it’s mighty stuffy.
We went to the stadium this morning, spending several arduous hours getting roasted alive. Thank God for clouds and Clear Water Sunblock SPF 50+. We spent all morning playing hide-and-seek with the sun. Frankly, I’d rather it hide behind the seemingly thick clouds and not show up until after we’re over and done with practice. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
Was pretty much very exhausted when we got back to school; thank God we had free period during POA, I had a quick nap. Yeah, I pretty much have the inept skill to fall asleep anywhere. Any-frigging-where. As long as I’m bushed, I can sleep, no matter if it’s on a wheelie chair, on someone’s shoulder, on the floor, on cement, in a parking lot, on the stairs, in public, whatever. Pretty handy especially when a decent bed is hours away.
****
“..You can fall from the sky, you can fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.”
-Unknown
That is one kickass quote.
Valentine’s Day is just a couple of days far. I’ve never really had a proper Valentine before to be honest. Well I did have ‘Valentines’ but not really one who bothered giving me roses, chocolates or stuffed animals from Euro Classic. But hey, could be something different this year.
I have a couple of Valentines actually. Unofficial & official. Officially, it’s Joel LapLap. Haha, yes, unceremoniously, he just asked me. Not that I like him or anything, geez, no, I haven’t even ever talked to the lad in person. But whatever. And my unofficial Valentine? Shouldn’t be too hard to figure that one out.
So Mickko, Kiks, Rona & I are going out this weekend and so are a bunch of other kids I bet. It had better be epic.
Labels: N-Day, people, quotes, school, Valentine's
I just woke up from a nap, man, was I bushed after getting back after school. I seem to have woken up with much more dilemmas than when I went to sleep. Gah, just push ‘em away Chels, push ‘em away to the back of your mind. Maybe they won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.
So today we finally started practice at the stadium. Can’t say I’m very much thrilled. Who gets thrilled when they know after a fortnight of rehearsals under the heat will turn them into a human crisp? Not me, that’s for certain.
I just have so many things on my mind right now. Just too many. Gimme a sec, I’ve gotta get my mind sorted out.
****
Alright, mind’s cleared out. All that’s lingering is the memory of last Sunday night. Gee. That’s one of the best nights of my life, for sure. Beneath the milky twilight... Lift your open hand... Silver moon sparkling... Mmmm.
****
I had a rather great weekend, I must say. Rona, Aikks, Mina, Mickko, Izaq, and Kevin came over Saturday and we had a horror movie marathon. At least... we tried to have a horror movie marathon. We ended up not finishing any of the movies at all. More than halfway through The Exorcist and we realized there was way too many talking scenes and less of the macabre ones. And so we skipped to another movie. But not before seeing the seriously freaky scenes. Ngawhhh. Oh, the horror.
If you don’t know me, then there’s one thing you’ve gotta remember about me: I’m no good with horror movies. Absolutely no good at all. Gee, you should’ve seen the guys persuading me. They wouldn’t give me any pepperoni pizza if I don’t sit down and watch. Can you believe that? Extortion and in my own house! Honestly. Everytime something even slightly freaky happens on screen I stalk off to the sanctuary of my bedroom only to be pulled out of it by Mickko.
Seriously, I’m lousy when it comes horror films! I’d just hide under like, a pillow or someone’s back or something. No good at all. But noooo, they insist that I sit still like a good girl and take it all in. I don’t want any images in my mind at night! But I gotta admit it was fun.
We watched Wreck after The Exorcist. Wreck’s actually the Spanish version of Quarantine (“It’s more realistic dammit,” says Izaq). But we never finished that one since we’ve watched Quarantine already and it’s practically the same thing only in a language we can vaguely understand.
After the movie bits, we jammed. Complete with drums as well, courtesy of Mina’s iPod Touch. Gosh, I really want an iPod Touch now. Dammit. I need the money from the shooting pronto. And we just hung out, plain old good times as usual.
Oh gee, I’ve gotta get to the bathroom and take a shower. I’m starting to reek. But what do you expect? I’ve been standing under the sun for hours.
Labels: horro movies, people, school, weekends
Thank God my stomach’s finally stopped its 4-hour regime of pain. Honestly. And I’m pretty much quite confused on why it did hurt although I did come up with four seemingly logical reasons:
1. The daily diet of chicken, chicken and chicken the school’s been passing off as lunch has finally taken its toll on my digestive system. Frankly, I’ve never had this much chicken before (it’s been over month and all I’ve had for lunch is chicken, either fried, smothered in ketchup or sweet and soured, honestly) and even more frankly, I’m getting sick of it. The unappealing monotony of having chicken at least five times a week is only slightly compromised by daily trips to Supa Save for ice cream and Dad’s Root Beer.
2. My abdominal muscles (that’s a fancier sounding term for abs) aren’t used to running around so much in one day. Being sensible 16 year olds (at average of course, most of us aren’t a day older than sixteen yet), we played several varieties of Tag-You’re-It. So much running and chasing around and perspiration ensued today’s N-Day rehearsals, but God, was it fun. I feel just like an 11-year-old again, succumbing to 5th grade games with your best mates. Good times.
3. Extreme hunger after running around like madmen. No elaboration needed. My stomach is quite parallel to a pretty much bottomless pit.
4. My tight waist-ed shorts. No wait—it’s been hurting since I was at school. This can’t really count.
I’m still quite unsure to why my stomach’s all a hurt-ey but hey, at least it’s gone now. Victory. And I’ve just finished a glass of chocolate shake which I tried hard to drip over my laptop keypad, almost failing.
****
It’s been a while since I’ve last written, and yes, quite contrary to the lack of updates, loads of things have happened since that historical weekend at KB. Quite a lot actually (I might find some time later on to recount it all). Much too much in fact, but I’m not complaining. Oh and guess what... we’re in the third episode and we’re shooting in a fortnight! VICTORY. And this time, we’re staying over at KB! Hell, it’s gonna be legend-freaking-dary. A fortnight. Oh God, I can’t wait [bounces up and down with excitement].
School (the academic bit, not the staying-back-for-practice-and-ditching-halfway-through-the-whole-thing part of it) today was reasonably fun. I thoroughly enjoyed 2nd period P.E. which I spent playing soccer. To be truthful about it, I’m dreadful. Entirely, inescapably and undeniably dreadful. Once I get the ball, I just kick it off somewhere else. But my teammates (all boys since all the girls ever do during P.E. is sit down under the shade, getting splashed by water kicked by boys playing football, waiting for it to be over) don’t mind very much and are pretty willing to help me become decent at it. And hey, it’s not like I didn’t help my team score. Well, I didn’t actually kick the ball right through the goalkeeper’s legs but I did get it as far, didn’t I?
Plus I got to prove that I’m not as frail as I look. I was hit by the ball full-on directly above my tenders when Andy was kicking the ball back in and I was trying to block of one of the lads from the opposing team. Just imagine what would’ve happened if he’d made a one degree difference in kicking it! It would’ve hit my boob! ONE DEGREE, I TELL YOU. But it didn’t really hurt that much, I’m just well glad that I was hit right above my you-know-what instead of going home with a flat right boob. Ah, the rigours of being a girl. And a second time, I was bashed in the face by a reasonably brawny guy while trying to defend the ball and I think my lower lip is internally bleeding. But this dispels the popular yet untrue theory about me being fragile. I AM NOT FRAGILE I TELL YOU. NOT. FRAGILE. [bites]
Anyway, there’s plenty of time for practice and I suppose it is time I live up to my much-associated-to-football name, right? After a rather wet P.E., we had BM [yawns]. The teacher spent it lecturing us all over again; it seems everyone’s flunked the recent BM test. I can honestly say I haven’t really ever tried getting an A for BM. The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful after that.
I think I was pretty muddled though from the hours of 7 am till 12 noon today. I walked into the wrong classroom (this one wasn’t really embarrassing, I was deeply immersed in reading the seventh Potter book and I just walked into the classroom only to find that 7th period Geography wasn’t over yet, I can honestly say I wasn’t paying very much attention where I was going and why), said hi’s to the wrong people (people I don’t ever talk to) and evidently flushed my own things down the toilet by accident. DAMMIT. And that was my ONLY pen!
After school, we stayed back for N-Day rehearsals. We were dismissed early and spent about an hour trying out different versions of tag and ended up completely exhausted, close to hyperventilation and clothes drenched in sweat. It was glorious fun chasing each other round the basketball court slash football field slash parking lot. We (we being Mina, Richelle, Shin, Danice, Izaq, Mickko, Eunice, Hanee, Nicks, Aikks and myself) were extremely ravenous after that and went off to Mamih for drinks and a plate of satay.
We got back to school a quarter after five and hung about at the flagpoles. Oh, and this “hot” lad showed up and the remaining girls went simply gaga over him. I’ve seen him around picking up his younger brother and sister and he seems to be about 17 to 18 years old (I could be completely wrong, he could be like, I don’t know, 26?).
Gosh, Richelle, Shin, Aikks and Mina (yes, Mina as well, isn’t that weird?) were all, “He’s hot, he’s hot, he’s sooooo hot” and when he went in the school building, they remained in faithful vigil, waiting for him to come outside just so they could repeat the “he’s so hot” mantra over again. So hilarious. Well, girls shall be girls. And you wonder why I wasn’t in it? Nahh, he doesn’t interest me much. I went right up to him, got a vaguely good look and he seems about 6.5-7 out of 10 by my rating, but who am I to judge? The other girls rated him about 9 to 10. O-kay. They even followed him as he left in his car and watched him drive away (they even followed him down the frigging hill I think)
Gee. It’s just so funny watching your own friends going wild over new eye-candy. It doesn’t happen very often around here, so I’m not being absurd. I wonder what would happen next time we see him around again. They’ll probably literally follow him, all the while giggling and attempting to get within a one-foot radius of him. Hahaha. Now that’s something funny to watch. For me, I mean.
That’s pretty much a decent summary of school today. An afflictive yet enjoyable round of soccer (my team won), playing tag, getting madly confused, drinks at Mamih, going gag over newfound eye-candy and just plain old enjoying-each-other’s-company. I’d give today a 7 of 10. Not bad. Not bad at all.
Labels: good times, random, school