“..The truth is worse
than anything I could bring myself to do to you.”
I’ve Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers
Man, why is it whenever I ignore you I feel like I’m blowing up all my chances? One by one? I guess it’s just stupid, I mean, you probably think that I don’t see you or something, but I do. I do. It’s just that, you know…I can’t bring myself to just go up to you and say something. What is wrong with me? Aarrgh. My friend said one sign that you like a person is that you’d always ignore or walk in the other direction from said person. Man. You seem to be doing that too. I suppose this means you either a.) like me or b.) do NOT like me. The latter sounds harsh. Really harsh. The only way to find out would be to ask you. But I really can’t bring myself to say it. I don’t mean to act like you don’t exist. That makes two of us.
***
Looking forward to tomorrow & the weekend. Really. We have our English orals tomorrow, this should be easy. I mean, we speak English, come on. Since I’m finish mine at around 8, I have like about 4 hours till I go home. Just hanging around, chilling (: Like last week. Haha. We went over to Netland and just had fun, you know. Good times, good times.
***
Still looking for job vacancies. Anyone?
Labels: people, personal things, school
We went to SKH last night to go buy some food for the kitchen and well, I got really bored so I went off to this empty aisle and just sort of sat there and wrote all the following down. I’m not kidding. People were looking. As if you’ve never seen anyone sitting on carton of baby wipes before writing her blog because she hasn’t got anything else to do in this forsaken pit.
7:58 pm
This is great. I’m sitting here on s box of wet tissues, alone in a secluded aisle of tampons, toothpaste and herbal medicines, in a really, REALLY, cramped up grocery store. And guess what, you can even see everything I’m doing if you look into security TV number 4 (I know so, my sister just told me). Geez. I wanna go home!
8:00 pm
Speaking of which, the awesome Epiphone electric guitar that I really want, ahem, need, is sitting on its rack calling out to me. “Chelsea, buy me. Buy me. Buuuuy me. You know you want it.” AAAAAAARRRRGGGH. Get me away from here! Ah, we’re leaving.
8:02 PM
Apparently not. And the intercom keeps paging for someone named JoJo. I should really move from this spot (aisle of instant noodles and coconut and egg jam. WHAT?). People are looking. I mean, get a life!
8:21 PM
“Welcome to SKH Supermarket, where comfort is not an option! Try out our special, squeeze through our ubër tight aisles and knock other people senseless. It’s great! Get in line, now! Because here at SKH, we love to see you get squished!”
8:22 PM
They really, REALLY need to renovate this dump. Perhaps a bigger floor area?!
8:34 PM
My hopes of going home have long been dashed ): Gawrsh. I never expected this to happen. The cashiers are having a bit of trouble, okay, a LOT of trouble with the credit card and are taking out every single thing in the grocery bags. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
8:36 PM
Apparently there’s something wrong with the credit card. Dude, it’s NOT cut. Is it?
8:44 PM
Oh no, thank God. One of the ladies was a new employee (she definitely will not be winning the employee of the month contest any time soon, you can count on that) and well, she keyed everything in wrong so the other cashier had to do it all over again. WHAT? What are the scanner thingies for then? Whew. For a second, I thought the credit card’s gone over the limit or something. Haha. Oh well. Homeward bound.
Take my advice: Never, I repeat, never, go to SKH if you're claustrophobic. (It means the fear of closed spaces and NOT the fear of Santa Claus. Really.)
Ells, your predecessor.
Put your iTunes, iPod, mp3, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
She Changes Your Mind by Copeland
Wow, opinions that strong huh?
We Are Broken by Paramore
Not if it’s broken |:
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns ‘N’ Roses
Aw (: Is that it?
Sleep by Kimya Dawson
Wow. I do sleep too much.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Music Or The Misery by Fall Out Boy
Music, please.
Cubicles by My Chemical Romance
“...all the things that we could be, if you took the time to notice me.”
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You Were Meant For Me by Jewel
I think Windows Media Player is psychic.
Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows
It is psychic.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Cry Baby Cry by Santana
Gosh, no.
Over My Head by The Fray
“I never knew, I never knew that everything was falling through.”
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Sway by Bic Runga
Just…sway (:
All You Wanted by Michelle Branch
All I wanted.
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Crawling In The Dark by Hoobastank
I never really got around to deleting this song.
Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional
Yep, hands down, I’m the best (:
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Five Becomes Four by Yellowcard
How eerie, there are five of us in the family |:
Holiday by Boys Like Girls
They want me to take a holiday?
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
Top Of The World by The All American Rejects
I do think about being there a lot.
Only One by Yellowcard
Yes. YES. My one and lonely.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Maybe Misery by Quietdrive
She ain’t misery.
Your Call by Secondhand Serenade
Haha, she does call.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fences by Paramore
“Don’t look; just let them think there’s no place else you’d rather be.”
Of All The Gin Joints In The World by Fall Out Boy
“I used to waste my time dreaming of being the light, now I waste my time dreaming of you.”
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
In Our Defense by The Academy Is…
Yep. I fight for my rights, defenses & live by defiance and vindication.
Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day
A more melancholy touch.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
You Might’ve Noticed by The Academy Is…
Huh?
They Don’t Care About Us by Michael Jackson
I suppose I’m expected to fight for equal rights?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
It’s Not Over by Secondhand Serenade
It hasn’t begun either.
Cinderella Story by Plain White T’s
Well that figures.
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Anyone Else But You by Ellen Page & Michael Cera
“I don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you.”
I’ll Wait For You by Sherwood
That’s beautiful, maybe I will dance to this song on said day. “I’ll never say I don’t have time.”
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
In The Closet by Michael Jackson
Haha, I like Michael Jackson.
LDN by Lily Allen
Haha, how sad. (I tried it again for fun and I got Relax, Take It Easy by Mika. How ironic, don’t you think?)
WHERE DO YOU LIKE TO BE?
Mr. Brightside by The Killers
“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?”
So Nice, So Smart by Kimya Dawson
No sense.
WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Naked by Avril Lavigne
Okay? That’s seems a little weird.
Spider Pig by Homer
It means I goof off too much.
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Thriller by Fall Out Boy
“Only thing I haven’t done yet is die.”
Who Knew by Pink
Yeah, who knew?
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
All Good Things Come To An End by Nelly Furtado
Wow. Exactly.
I Never Told You What I Do For A Living by My Chemical Romance
I think that should go with “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?” question better.
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Lose It by Cartel
“When she sees me, oh my God, go on and lose it.”
A Decade Under The Influence by Taking Back Sunday
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Rum Is For Drinking Not Burning by Senses Fail
Haha, knock yourself out. They don’t get drunk much, just some. Certain some. Good description though.
Whoa by Paramore.
Exactly. Whoa.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT SCHOOL?
Trapped In The Drive Thru by Weird Al Yankovic
Really?
We Say Summer by All Time Low
We love the sun, we do.
WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY DO ON WEEKENDS?
Stuck by Stacie Orrico
Not really.
You’re My Angel by Unwritten Law
Nawh, no sense.
WHAT DOES THE PERSON YOU LIKE THINK OF YOU?
I Can Wait Forever by Simple Plan
That’s great (:
Thunder by Boys Like Girls
That’s your best answer so far.
“Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you’re unlike any other?
You’ll always be my thunder and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don’t wanna ever love another.”
Those 5 lines you just read, they say everything I ever wanted to say to you, no less.
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors.
I did it twice just like Ells since it’s fun. And uh, it might make sense more the second round. You’ll find, apparently, the first go went better. I underlined the song that better fits the question, at least some made sense. The others were just…silly. Yet, fun.
I think we may have overused the word love, demeaning and violating its definition with all our stupid every day phrases. “Ooooh, I LOVE doing this!” “Ooooh, I just LOVE Coke” “Ooooh, I LOVE this, I LOVE that” and all that bullshit. Seriously. It has a meaning and I honestly don’t think that we should be using the word ‘love’ every 7 seconds. You guys use it whenever the hell you want, but from now on; I’ll use the less than significant other; like. Good old reliable like (:
Yes, I do suppose it means less, but love is you know. It’s love. It should be used as sparingly as the F-word. You know the massive effect when you say that word? Everyone gasps and people curse you for saying it and everything? I swear, the L-word’s supposed to have the same effect. Just not in a negative kind of way. But yeah. I’m telling you, the love is gonna lose its meaning of we use it all the time. I suppose you can use it but NOT all the freaking time, it'll just lose its real definition.
Labels: personal things, thoughts
Hey moon, please forget to fall down. When this memory fades, I’m gonna make sure it’s replaced. I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me, the same way I think of you. To hands between legs, to whatever it takes. If all our life was but a dream. It’s not faith if you use your eyes. My mind is filled with these words. I’m not going, cause I’ve been waiting for a miracle and I’m not leaving. All these phrases… I only think in the form of crunching numbers. There’s a patch of blue in the stormy sky. Don’t mean much, but they mean a lot. You were the song in my head, the warmth of the sheets of my bed. Me and you, setting in a honeymoon, if I woke up next to you, if I woke up next to you.
****
I think I may be psychic. So there I was this morning, waking late (again) because of this insane dream. Justeen was in it, but he didn’t do much but trash my room. In the dream I mean. This particular dream would probably be insignificant if not for this other dude, who I absolutely do NOT know, who, quite unusually, was in it. I swear, I don’t know him, you know how, you like, now a person by face cause you see him everyday, but have no particular reason to go up talk to? Yeah, just like that. And anyway, this was the last thing I expected, seeing that dude in my waking hours. Psychic-wise, Haz told me he asked for my number today. Now that’s uncanny |: Haha, yet cool, now I know who’s gonna ask for my number, just by seeing who was in my dream last. Pfft, my ass. Probably just coincidence, but yeah. Odd.
Question: what exactly does it mean when you dream about the same person for about, say half a year now?
Cause I’ve been doing so since early spring and well, I just wanna know. I mean, that’s gonna mean something. O dreamer of dreams, is there something thoust are trying to convey into the ignorant mind’s eye of thine? No? Shrug.
So today was fun, Hallelujah. Better than most days, actually. Like I was saying the guys earlier;
“Life is awesome, life is madly depressing, life is great, life is hard, like for example right now, we are walking on roots of these trees which are quite hard to navigate and we may end up falling on our face, in which case life is embarrassing. Yet, life is great.”
“But you just said life was depressing.”
“Yeah, well, life is great.”
Haha, yeah. I don’t know how I come up with all these. I guess it just comes in the timing. The full thing goes like this:
I just remembered I can’t write it down, it’ll less than conceal the things I’d prefer concealed, but anyway, it was a great quote, someone should’ve written them down as I said it. That’s the trouble with not being famous enough to have your every word quoted, misquoted and then used against you (you can quote me on that).
Anyway. Today was pretty fun, well, actually break was. Hanging out with my buddies, it’s fun. Even you should know that. Man, what am I gonna do when they leave? I suppose that’s the only sad part about having friends from all over. Damn |: This blows. The only thing I pretty much look forward to a LOT is our stupid 20 minute-only break. The rest of school? Much boring. Really.
Speaking of boring things and the like, I quoted down something stupid that Jeebs said. You know how the people in school make, like, a lot of grammatical errors, and sometimes it sounds wrong, other times downright stupid & hilarious? Well, he went like “Hey, text me. I’m boring.” Hahahaha. Douche. He obviously meant “I’m bored”, but it came out wrong and all Aikks, Haz and I did was stand there laughing at his ass. Hey, at least he made us smile, right? HAHAHAHA. Thanks man.
Guess what? The school wants to see my proposal for the school logo, yeah, suck on that! Kidding. But they really do wanna see my logo. I hope they like it. And then I get to sell it to them or something. Haha. No, really.
Oh and did I mention I got suspended for vandalizing the school with the words Fall Out Boy Rocks My Shorts Off, Screw You If You Disagree? No school, no school starting tomorrow.
Not. But there is no school tomorrow.
Labels: people, personal things, school
Cause I need one. I seriously do. I can’t believe I’m saying this and it’s not that I’m ungrateful or anything, but I’ve grown bored of my acoustic one, but I still love it, I do, it’s just that I wanna move on to punk rock after wallowing in the waters of the range of alternative and acoustic music for too long. I’ve learnt most of the songs I want to and I just wanna go off and learn harder things. I don’t know. I guess I just got inspired after seeing Joe Trohman on the guitar. Probably.
And I saw this really awesome Epiphone guitar which costs about $600, and now I need to find a way to get 600 in cash. Right now. Seriously. My mom insists on me getting a job, which is on hiatus. I offered cleaning up the whole inside of my English teacher’s house but she won’t pay me anything. Pfft. But in any way, I need the money. I really do.
If you know how I can get $600 by the end of this year, please, tell me. Other than that, just shut up. I’m not kidding, I really need the money. I’d do anything humanly possible. Except enduring intense pain or humiliation or something like that.
Labels: personal things
But Andrew’s my inspiration right now.
Honestly. He is the best drummer around and he’s just…you know. You really can’t say anything. Seriously, when I get older I wanna be just like them. The skills, I mean. Really.
I love the way Patrick & Joe play the guitar, Patrick actually dances and Joe spins a lot. I mean, no other band does that. Not that I know of, but yeah. Joe, you rock.
Labels: music, people, personal things
The BM orals were so easy, I can NOT believe it. It’s like, you know, that easy. Hallelujah. So I told the teacher, I came from an international school where they don’t teach that much BM, what’s the deal? It worked, which is awesome. I highly doubt that I got an F; I mean at least, I TRIED speaking it, right?
We ended up at Netland after the orals, bullying the other customers (: And we got to see what Josh does for a living. Haha. He sits around in his wheely chair with all the power in the world. Actually, just within the room, but still. Oh, the havoc we wrecked. Good times, good times. Can’t wait for next Friday.
25th Friday
***
“..at one point we were waiting for Chels and Aikks to emerge from the bathroom, we were talking about boxers/underwear when we noticed they were taking too long. so i headed into the bathroom, Eddie and Andy on my heels we were screaming "AIKKS, CHELLLLS WHERE ARE YOU, YOU DONE?!" guess what? THEY WERENT IN THERE. mygod, where did they goo?! Eddie was funny though, he was half a step into the bathroom and Andy was.. well, behind Eddie. XP. people were staring! and Eddie was the one screaming "CHELS, AIKKS ARE YOU DONE?!" haha. RIGHT.”
-Ells
“..After that, Jaybee, Eddie and I were waiting for Chels and Yikes!. They were in the toilet, or so we thought. We chatted about underwears and boxers XD. Then it was quite some time and Chels and Yikes! werent out yet. So we decided to head into the toilet. Saw Jacin on the way there. Eddie almost went into the girl's toilet O.O". People were looking.”
-Andy
we ditched them :p
It was Audrey’s birthday and so was my sister’s. Happy 15th and 9th (: So we went to the mall for Audrey’s and she was all clad in this sparkly tank looking like a diva. Just like always does. Seriously, she likes anything shiny. It was pretty fun as always, although I did come a bit late and missed the food ): But awesome old Eddie bought me lunch, I was really hungry, didn’t eat anything since 7 in the morning.
The whole thing was pretty fun, and I especially love the part where Aikks made this comment about all those Europeans and this particular dude heard her and we ended up going all Mission Impossible, ducking every time we saw him cause he just happened to be in every place we were. I remember telling the whole thing to Audrey and them and we happened to be under this echo place and everything I said was twice as loud:
“So the guy heard her and we ended up running all the way over here..”
“Hahaha, no way?”
“Yeah. Man, I think he’s pissed.”
“Oh, is that him?” (points at the dude a few feet behind us)
“Mothe--”
We do a double take and Aikks and I make a run for it to the cinema and we hid behind the stairs for about a minute or so and the dude was still there buying popcorn or something. Then these couple of dudes were pushing a tree and we hid behind that. It looked like something out of a Simpsons episode. And Aikks’d go like “D’oh!”. Haha, crazy times.
It was so fun, seeing Ella again and meeting her friends. Well Aikks didn’t know any of them, I did. Great times (: I bet this is the last time I’ll be let out, the mocks are just in a fortnight and I really must study.
For full accounts of the Saturday, check out Ells’ & Andy’s entries.
26th Saturday
***
It’s been an awesome weekend and here we are again. Monday. Which is great, I love Mondays. Today was a typical, boring old routine until after break, someone was sent to the hospital for fainting. Yeah. Not that unusual really, it happens all the time, it does. Aikks was convinced the girl got into a coma. Not likely. Hahaha. Don’t laugh, it’s serious.
Labels: birthdays, hanging out, people, school
So I was looking for stuff on the web to post as an entry here and I found these, all written by kids when asked questions concerning love&wisdom. And boy, they say the Darndest things.
What Is The Proper Age To Get Married?
"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5)
What Do Most People Do On A Date?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually get them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)
When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she will want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
The Great Debate: Is It Better To Be Single Or Married?
"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)
Concerning Why Love Happens Between Two People:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
On What Falling In Love Is Like:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long a time to learn." (Leo, 7)
On The Role Of Good Looks In Love And Romance:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary,7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)
Concerning Why Lovers Often Hold Hands:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." (David, 8)
Confidential Opinions About Love:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when The Simpsons' are on TV." (Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)
Personal Qualities Necessary To Be A Good Lover:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."(Ava, 8)
Some Surefire Ways To Make A Person Fall In Love With You:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)
How Can You Tell If Two Adults Eating Dinner At A Restaurant Are In Love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like their hearts are on fire." (Christine, 9)
What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You":
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)
How A Person Learns To Kiss:
"You learn it right on the spot, when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)
"It might help if you watched soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)
When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you.... that's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)
How To Make Love Endure:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
"Don't forget your wife's name . . . that will mess up the love." (Roger, 8)
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out." (Randy, 8)
Labels: deep stuff, hilarious, random