“My heart is on my sleeve; wear it like a bruise or black eye.”
–Chicago Is So Two Years Ago; Fall Out Boy
So the weekend was fairly average. I almost broke one of my own universal laws actually. The Never Be Without My Friends on a Weekend Law. I’ve made it a rule never, never to be home alone on a weekend. It seems like a seemingly low level of being pathetic, to me at least. And I almost reached that level yesterday. But I ended up going to the mall and hanging out for just about a couple of hours with Rona and Miko. It was only for bit and we didn’t do much, but hey, at least I wasn’t in the house going mad. (Seriously... I go mad.)
Strangely enough, to me, being at home, particularly alone, with no one else but a TV with no cable and a bunch of over-watched DVDs, is like being alone on Christmas Day. Alone on a normal weekday is fine, but alone on a weekend? Gee, that’s alone alone. I just can’t handle that, no sir.
So... it’s National Day tomorrow. Gee, and we’re performing. After one whole month and a half of practice, it’s all gonna be over tomorrow. I’m sure as heck not gonna miss practicing in the afternoons at all. I mean come on, getting burnt like that, how can you expect me to? My arms are bloody darker than the rest of my body; I’m frigging comparable to a very badly colored drawing of a girl done by particular Kindergartner specifically color blind to the different shades of brown. Definitely not going to miss practice, but I will, most definitely, miss missing class. Doing that everyday, I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t mind at all.
In case you haven’t noticed... I’m not really the patriotic stereotype. I mean, being forced to do this dance is one thing, extorted to toast under the sun while wearing a very badly designed costume and handling rather, literally, stinky props, is another but being forced to wear a tudong? Okay, that’s where I draw the line. I am SO not wearing a tudong and there’s nothing you can do to make me! [supposedly being stubborn but knowing that she’s going to have to anyway] Honestly. I look like ridiculous, with a capital R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S, in a freaking tudong. And I’m not just saying that!
[Qawi puts tudong on Chels]
Chels: Well?
Qawi: Wow. You look like... my mom.
Chels: I’m guessing that’s not a compliment?
Everybody: [laughs at Chelsea]
Chels: [hastily pulls off tudong] Okay, I’m never wearing that again!
Eddie suggests I wear it the way Madonna would wear a scarf. And honestly, I tried. All I did was end up looking like a disgrace to the Muslims. Wouldn’t want that now, would I? I might cause a premature Armageddon between Catholics and Muslims.
Muslim Dude: WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Catholic Dude: War?! WHAT?!
Random Dude: Peace and love, mate.
Muslim Dude: We caught this teenager [holds up Chelsea in a tudong] trying to mock us Muslims. Trying to make us look funny eh? I’m not having it. WARRRRRRRR!
Random Dude: Peace and love, mate.
Catholic Dude: [confused] What?
I guess all I have to do now is keep my fingers crossed and hope Izaq forgets to bring my tudong tomorrow. Yeap, I lent it to him. Only thing is... I don’t know whether him forgetting it on purpose would actually do me any good. They probably have like, millions of tudongs saved especially for me tomorrow just in case I do try to chuck mine. But it would get on my teachers’ nerves. Not that I’ve pissed them off enough already, I’m already on their bad side.
I know, me, Chelsea, on the teachers’ bad sides. Pretty odd but... during this one and a half month period, I’ve managed to majorly tick off my teachers, especially the new Commerce teacher. She loathes the heck out of me. I mean come on, all I’ve ever done was:
1. Skip off practice at least 3 dozen times by
2. Attending only every other practice alternately which doesn’t do me much good because
3. I only arrive for the first half and after break, I run off never to be seen again until further notice.
4. Get left behind by my bus only because I lost sight of them for like, half a second.
5. Wear a colored t-shirt which HAS the bloody school logo on it. Honestly. Since when was wearing my yellow house shirt a major crime punishable by law?
6. Go to the loo without asking permission once, but the next
7. Going to the loo WITH permission only never to show up until it’s time for the bus ride back to school.
8. Procrastinate a lot, much to the inconvenience of teachers and uh,
9. Refuse point blank to wear my tudong. I’m not even Muslim, so bite me.
Not much, I know. It’s like there’s this thing about me that really pisses the muck out of her. Whatever, at least I’m not the one being highly illogical by thinking that me wearing my yellow shirt is a simply attempt to attract attention. Oh please, like I haven’t got enough attention already. And besides, I don’t go looking for attention, attention finds me.
So here’s how the scene tomorrow might go (according to Izaq, he wrote this and made me quote it down), the part where Izaq actually does bring my tudong, but we pretend he’s left it at home just to get Azzy’s (the highly illogical teacher, that’s not really her name, but let’s call her that) blood pressure up. FYI, she’s tiny, less than 5 feet tall, yet she can be sooooo irksome. Amazing how someone that size can be such a pain in the arse.
Part one:
Chels: I DONT HAVE MY TUDONG! [hides grin]
Azzy: WHAT!? YOU... YOU... [turns into Azzy Hulk]
Chels: Just kidding :3
Azzy: RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!
Chels: Oh, my God.. RUN!
Azzy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
And here’s part two:
Chels: [runs and hides behind Izaq]
Azzy: AZZYSMAAASHHHHHHHHHH!
Izaq: Oh crap.
Azzy: [smashes Izaq]
Izaq: You call that a smash? Midget.
Azzy: [faints]
Chels, Izaq: Chelzaqoo duo! EPIC WIN!
Azzy: .....rrrrrrrrrrRR.
Izaq: Shut up!
Azzy: [dies]
Ha-ha. Tell me about it. Well, I gotta go get lost in my bed now. Don’t wanna look like a zombie on National Day now, do I? Also don’t want to be left behind by the bus to stadium, it leaves at 5-freaking-30 AM tomorrow. Geez! Not a soul would be awake at that time! Well, certainly not a soul like mine. But anyway, if they do indeed leave me behind (again), whose loss is it really?
Goodnight fellas. I’m sooooo gonna burn tomorrow morning. Just great.