“..This feeling is lonely, tearing me slowly, hits me so deep, it cuts my bone. Fills my heart, burns me up for way too long. I lie awake because I’m scared.”
-Quietdrive

01:41 AM
I am. I’m lying awake, thinking quietly in the confines of my bestfriend’s four poster bed. Nothing can explain the feeling I’m trying to suppress right at this moment and the song softly filling my head suits the mood. I’m not depressed, I’m merely sad. And Quietdrive depicts it well (thank you Paths).

01:46 AM
I’m not only sad though, I have to say I’m immensely happy, I’m grateful for the bigger things in my life. There are just a few things I can’t express and it nags at my insides. I’m keeping you clueless aren’t I? It’s just that...life isn’t fair. It’s not.

01:49 AM
It’s not the side effect of the cocaine; I’m thinking it must be love. Ah, Fall Out Boy. Thank God for bands like Quietdrive & FOB. At least I can turn to them when there’s no one else to be verbose yet sullen and morose around with.

01:53 AM
It’s really strong. The nagging emotion of just trying to not. Not. It’s impossible not to. To break your own heart...I mean. Dude.

01:54 AM
Oh just screw it all, I am human and there’s nothing I can do about this. Just go along with it, hold the charade and let it pass by, don’t forget wave. For heaven’s sake, it must be just a weird phase that everyone goes through. Nope. I doubt it, I’m repeating myself and nobody’s in my situation so far said.

01:57 AM
That’s it. Just let it go. Let. It. Go. You can do it Chels. You are Chelsea right, you can do anything! Now shut yourself up in your everything-but-possible dreams. It’s freaking 2 in the morning, half the world is tucked away into the safe solace of sleep and you might as well do.

01:59 AM
Okay, Wannabe by The Spice Girls just came on. Wow. Well it did make me smile (: Go Spice Girls (I never knew they were British). So anyway, it’s exactly a couple of hours past Cinderella’s deadline and I should go sleep away the depression. No wait, this isn’t depression. It’s the freaking Spice Girls. GO TO SLEEP ALREADY CHELSEA!

2:02 AM
*yawn*

2:03 AM
Do you wanna be my lover? Haha. They just asked me that. Oh right. Sleep.

2:05 AM
*snore. NOT.

Labels: myself, personal things