“The only thing worse than not knowing is you thinking that I don’t know.”
7 Minutes In Heaven (Ataven Halen); Fall Out BoyI am so, so pissed right now, I could kill someone. A particular someone. Or maybe two particular someones. I could kill you both. Grr.
I know I really shouldn’t be like this, and I’m probably overreacting again. Or not. Well, you really had me right there. RIGHT THERE. I mean after all I’ve done for you, [insert name here] still gets all the credit. AND you’ve only known [insert name here] for less than a month. I did exactly the same thing so and so did, even more, and then you go on and shove all your appreciation on em. Oh no, not me, I’m just Chelsea right? Everyone takes Chelsea for granted, that’s alright, she won’t mind if I toss her aside for a while.
I did the same thing, the same damn thing, and what’s more is that I did it better! But did you ever show your appreciation? NO. Not really. Sometimes I wonder why I bother. It doesn’t seem to make any difference to you anyway.
And then [insert name here] comes along, does what I did, and you immediately award em the Nobel Prize. What happens to me? Nothing. I don’t get anything. I know I’m not really supposed to ask for anything, but I don’t even want anything. I just want your damn appreciation. But no. What the hell?! What is wrong with you?!?!
And this isn’t the first time! Sometimes you just—AARRRGGGGHHHHH. Sometimes I just wanna shove you awake, open your eyes and say, “Hey, it’s me! What about me?! How come [insert name here] gets it all? I didn’t get a thing!” Why? WHY?
They get it all. NOT ME. Not even a “thank you, you’ve been really great”. Or “thank God you’re my friend, you lighten up my day” or something. Maybe I should’ve just left you to die in some sewer where you belong.
That’s what hurt me the most. You never showed your appreciation. At all. And if you have, what a funny way of showing it. I swear I’ve never heard something nice about me from you. Ever. Until [insert name here] comes along and runs my routine, does my job and SHE gets all the credit. SHE DOES. Not me, but she. What happened to me? Whatever happened to me?
And you! You have no idea how it makes me feel when you just go off and hog at it like it means nothing. But it means something. To me. And you know how I felt, how could you still do that? How could you two both go and stab me? You probably aren’t aware of it, but you did. You hit me alright.
You knew that I felt strongly about all this but why did you have to go and do that? Why?! THAT’S MY JOB. MY PART. MY ROLE. You aren’t supposed to run off and take it...
You go around thinking that you know loads more than I do. WAKE UP! Talking about stuff you get to do and have and stuff I can’t and probably never will because both of you are such pricks. You made me feel bad, you made me feel a LOT bad. Like, a lot.
Seriously? Who takes granted of their bestfriend? Well, I’ve got the answer to that. YOU TWO OBVIOUSLY DO. And that’s the worst part. You two are my bestfriends. At least, I thought you were. I just never realized I wasn’t considered one all along.
Maybe you should just go back to where you belong. Everything was alright up till then. You have no idea how hurt I am. Both of you.
Maybe I’m just jealous. Maybe I’m being immature. But it doesn’t matter, it hurt me.
It hurt me a lot. And if I am just jealous or immature then I probably don’t know what’s going on. So would you two please explain to me what the bloody hell’s been going on. Cause until then, you’re guilty in my eyes.
Labels: anger, personal things, things that piss me off
