“..As far as you're concerned, the next breath that you take should be underwater. You're worthless. You've been told once before, this time you're gonna get back a little more than you paid for.”

-In Our Defense; The Academy Is...

I am so freaking pissed.

I need to chill.

OHHH SCREW HERRRR

AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHH

EFFING C-.

SHE GAVE ME A FRUCKING C MINUS

LIKE I DESRERVE THAT.

H HAVE NEVER, REPEAT NEVER GOTTEN A C- (72%) IN AN ENGLISH COMPOSTION.

EVER.

And then she goes around accusing me of thinking I’m so great with no respect for teachers

Ohh yeaaaa, I got news for ya beeeoootch.

You want respect?!? It’s earned NOT demanded, ya hear?

As for teachers; I do respect some. SOME.

SCREW YOU.

Okayy so here’s the deal. We had our English Test see? And we were given like, 5 to 6 topics I think? Yeah, I chose the one about mobile phones’ ads & disads. I kept everything to freaking topic, I gave her the 6 paragraphs she wanted, complete with 500 words. And then she gives me an effing 72?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 70-freaking-2?!?!? Can you believe that? I mean, that right there is a record, from other teachers, I would’ve gotten at least an A, 20% more than what she gave me. WTFFFF?!?!?!?? AND I’m not the only one who got freaking low, Naz, a classmate of mine, went with the same topic and she also got a 72! I read her composition and it’s quite good and informative, and then she gets a low, undeserving 72. What the heck is that?!?!?!? She’s playing at our grades!!!!!!

AAAAAARRRGGGH. I mean seriously, ask anyone, I have NEVER gotten a freaking 72 before. MAN. I started complaining and she got mad and screwed my marks down to 68. Now that’s a D. GAAAHHHHHHH. But I, always have been the defiant/vindictive type, kept complaining, and so of course she got pissed and told me to shut up. I was like, yeahh screw you. Which unfortunately, she heard. She lectured me in front of the class. Yeaahh, whatever. Personally, I’m not mad because she of what she said, I’m pissed cause of my freaking 72. Right there, scrawled in red ink is an ugly 72. Because of our incredulously low marks, everyone was furious at her. Boy, do I mean furious. Everyone was pissed for the last two periods. Sure, we can be the worst class in Year 9, sure we can be the noisiest mess of students ever to set foot in PDS, but we try. WE TRY. We try to get high marks; we try to please you all. God, she didn’t have to take it our marks. WTH. She’s gonna get hers. You guys shoulda seen Qawi, man he was SO pissed. He was throwing his stuff all over the place. Man, she’d better watch out. If me and Qawi get mad, she is dead. She hasn’t seen us angry. You do NOT want to see us angry, trust me.

Labels: deep stuff, people, school

“..One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind.”

-A Lonely September; Plain White T’s

My head. While lying on the bed that is. I mean, it’s just really, really ridiculously weird. When I lie down on my bed, I start thinking and dreaming of crazy, bizarre things. Every time I lie down and stare at my ceiling, I feel that nothing, NOTHING is impossible. I get these really crazy thoughts and start talking and giggling away to myself. I mean, hasn’t any of you felt that way? You lie down, and you just blink the world away. Nothing else exists. Just like an old black and white movie, the thoughts just start reeling in. When I lay on my duvet, I dream of wild things and sometimes I tell myself heck yeah, I can do that. I’m like, yeah, the next time I see him, I’m gonna talk to him. But when I get off the bed, I don’t feel like it anymore. I crash on my bed and I start thinking, now why didn’t I do that? All those chances I’ve missed, the things I wish I did.. It’s kind of unnerving. I mean, gosh. Really CRAZY thoughts. And when I say crazy, boy, do I mean crazy. It’s like playing a game of Truth or Dare with myself. I think that I can absolutely do this, and then reality hits me, no I can’t. Sigh. (To give you an idea of my crazy thoughts, it’s usually on the romance front and for those really immature people who can’t think of anything that’s not Rated R, go screw yourself, my thoughts DON’T go there) Yepp. Sometimes, I get silly thoughts too; most don’t make any sense at all. Once my head hits the pillow, I lose track of this world. And the worst part of all this is when I get up and find out that everything was just fake, and that I’ve gotta get my head screwed straight again. Yet that doesn’t stop me from getting back on my bed, to get lost in my outrageous fantasies once again.

Labels: deep stuff

doldrums (n.) 1. A sluggish state in which something fails to develop or improve 2. A state of gloominess or very low energy

HAHA. Actually, it’s bang the Chinese drums but it sounds wayyyyyyyyy better as ‘Bang the Doldrums’. I mean c’mon ‘Bang the Chinese Drums’? Gimme a break. Pffft. not that they sucked cause they were freaking awesome. Oh, I’m sorry; I missed out the part where I tell you what I’m talking about. Okay so here’s the general picture: cymbals, Chinese drums, lions, children clad in cheong sams and baju melayus, Brunei flags dangling everywhere. Get it now? Yepp, CNY and National Day celebrations. It was on Monday, the 25^th but actually Brunei’s independence was on like, the 23^rd. So anyway, we had to wear either cheong sams in light of the Chinese New Year (which ended on like, Thursday?) or baju kurungs/melayus. Everyone looked greaaaaat. No kidding. ;))

I wore this navy blue cheong sam, which had this long slit in the front with a couple o’ black boots complete with chopstick in hair. Haha, everyone loved the attire, Azim practically did not leave my side that day and Afif was very gentleman-ly the whole time. The flaw of my dress was that every time I sat down, the slit kinda opens up with one side falling away, revealing my legs. ANNOYING REALLY. I kept having to tuck in the skirt part in between my legs to stop it from opening away. HAHA. Anywayy, Aikks was wearing the baju kurung I lent her and she looked awesome, her frame totally fit the dress xdd. Lizzie had the best Chinese costume though; hers was like the shirt-and-pants type of cheong sam, which she actually made by herself! It was a break from the usual dress with slits and she looked awesome. Plus, she had her hair done in a genuine Chinese way, the twisted bun and the braided tail and everything. AWESOME. Everyone else looked decent as well. Eunice got busted though by Cikgu Husaini cause her cheong sam was really, really short and the silts made it worse, but she looked absolutely great. Even Nico had his baju melayu, complete with sinjang. Hahah awesome.

Anywayy, celebrations don’t begin till after break so we still had lessons. Math was the usual, classworks and stuff and in BM, teacher told us sick jokes. HAHAHAHAHA. I just remembered one. SICK. I’m not mentioning anything here just in case there are little kids present. After BM, we had Geography, just studied a bit of New Zealand and then when the bell rang, Qawi whipped out his camera phone and we took loads of photos, the camwhores we are (I’ll upload some of those photos in a bit).After a while, we were called to go downstairs and lucky us, our class got to sit right beside the stage thingy, haha best views one and all. Pity the other classes though, they either had to stand, sit in the hot sun, or get blocked by the little primary kids. Then the celebration thingies began.

It started with a speech by Natacia and a few rounds of games were played (I think they had the games just to stall the audience since the Chinese drums & lion dance people weren’t ready yet). Then came the marching part. The senior Police Cadets were all dressed up in their uniform complete with a beret. They marched in front and when the two flags were raised by Faizshah and Haji, this guy in Year 11 read out the oath thingy, and we had to follow it. Anyway, when all that was done, came my favorite part. The Lion Dance. HAHA LOVE IT. They rocked man!! It’s quite hard to explain here, but it was awesome! There were two lions, a golden one and a silver one. In the golden one was Nikki and Joven and the silver one had Jun and Eric. They kept doing these stunts and all, and they were freakin’ awesome! The drums were great too man, shoite. HAHA. Well, after the dance, the choir from the PDS Int’l sang this Bruneian song and after that we sang the National Anthem, PDS Int’l School’s Alma Mater and then our Alma Mater. Then it ended with Teacher Ali going MERDEKA and we replied with a huge MERDEKA back 3 times. Haha, it was fun while it lasted.

After everything was said and done, we went back upstairs to our class and took more photos. I mean, might as well make the most of it cause c’mon, when again are we gonna get this dressed up right?? So yeahh. MERDEKA BRUNEI!!!!

Labels: school

losing interest in school, losing interest in school. NO NO NO!!
gotta focus, gotta focus!!

PMB.

school has been really stressing lately, a buttload of homework, test && projects to complete.

gaahhhhh.

plus, I’m the monitor, gotta follow the rules (which I suck at) or else I won’t be the bloody monitor.

Much like a police screwing up then getting kicked off the force or something like that.

blehh x/

plus the teachers are kinda screwy, it's so annoying.

We're in like, the Angle of Depression in Math now, hence the blog title and current state of mind.

I have practically lost the will to study.

My tests marks are kinda low, not your average 90ish. MAN.

it's so freaking stressful, it's weird!!

I have never, i repeat, NEVER been stressed bout school before.

I need help!!

Labels: school

It’s the 14^th of February. Yeahh. The time when all those people give each other corny but SWEET gifts. That is, if you’ve got a Valentine. Which I don’t. Have a Valentine, I mean. Well, there’s pretty much only one person whom I’d very, very, VERY much would like to be my Valentine. It’s just that, well.. Never mind. Anyway, here are the shout outs to my dearest mates, I mean come on, it ain’t just for lovers, am I right? Buddies too so enjoy. [x

And by the way, the shout outs are kind of like to the close friends radius so don’t get all cross if I don’t mention you okay?

To Ronalyn; closest confidanté, childhood bestfriend, soulsister.

Do I get credit for putting you at the top? :PP

well, bestfriend (though we don’t call each other that), thanks for the memories.

Thanks for being my closest friend practically since birth (not really) and

thanks for putting up with my crap.

HAHA, not that I have any crap that bothers you but yea, whatever. :PP

Thanks for all those nights we lied wide awake tellin’ each other our stuff about our lives. XPP

Thanks for bringin’ me along to buffets at the Empire. HAHA.

Thanks for not gittin’ pissed at me when you almost died cause I kinda accidentally stepped on you in your pool. HAHA. my bad.

Thanks for confiding in me.

Thanks for everything you have give me, and most importantly;

thanks for being a real good friend for the past like, 10 years?

Azim told me to come along with you guys today, sorry though can’t make it. (:

Happy Valentine’s.

To Aikks & Ells; bestfriends, sisters, hell yeah whatever:

Even though we’ve been bestfriends for only a couple of years now since, it’s been great.

And even that is an understatement. eeesh.

haha, nothing, nothing could EVER replace those stupid, ridiculous, HILARIOUS

And sometimes embarrassing episodes of ours.

Remember the rain crashing? HAHA.

We’ve had our ups and downs, but never down and out. x)

Anyway, thkez for pretty much everything yea?

I love you guys, and no one can EVER replace you.

(corny alert!!)

Happy Valentine’s Bestfriends.

p/s Ells, you’ve been missing a lot since you moved to Saint. no kidding.

To Lizzie & Naj; 2 of the most creative people I know. bestfriends third to the above mentioned. [x

Hey guys.

It seems we have kind of fallen out a little over the years, but we’re still chums roiiiight?

Don’t forget about all the photos, chocolates, memories, (not to mention food) and laughter we spent together.

You Guys, Me, Ells & Aikks. The five of us. Wanker98 was it? EWW.

Anyway, thanks again for all.

And I do mean ALL.

I love you guys.

Happy Valentine’s.

To Elaine & Nico; charaderoos. :PP bestfriends, classmates.

Elaine I know you’re gone, but I’m sure you can still read this.

I mean it’s not like you don’t have Internet right? :PP

so heyy, remember The Black Charade. WAHAHAHA.

remember playing Charades in class?

remember snapping shots while the teacher wasn’t looking?

HAHA. yepp, those were the days.

Well, don’t you guys ever, EVER forget all the times we spent together yea?

Elaine, Nico, Chels & Aikks.

One of us is gone, but she’s still here. If you get what I mean.

Now don’t you forget about us yeah?

Well, thanks.

for EVERYTHING.

I love you both amigos.

Happy Valentine’s.

To Eddie; craziest, most delusional and most bizarre bestfriend.

Heyy Eddie, don’t pretend I’ll ever forget about you. :D

we’re still bestfriends roiiight?

Just cause we’re not being crazy & ridiculous together doesn’t mean we’ve fallen out roiiight?

HAHA.

thank you, for all the episodes we had together. from the 6^th grade till now.

THANK YOU.

Love ya man! You’ve been such a great friend.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

To Eunice & Chi; by far the cutest couple. EVER.

a year and a half. damn girl, you sure know how to stay in a relationship long.

HAHA. well, cheers to you guys. I hope it all works out fine, cause it seems to be.

I hope you’re one of those ‘forever’ kind of couples, haha.

Ron, serenade her already! :DD

I don’t give a sh*t if you suck at it, it’s the thought that counts.

Anyway, thanks for the memories both you have given me,

thanks for all the years together.

Happy Valentine’s and all the best.

To Kuya Mimi; brother & friend.

Heyy Kuya.

I know it’s a little awkward after our *ahem* fiasco.

Things are not gonna be the same again, but I really, truly forgive you.

And so does Aikks.

All that’s left is for you to forgive yourself and MOVE ON.

Dearest brother; thanks for being our Kuya for a year now.

I thank God he’s blessed us with you

and I also thank you for caring so much about us and for EVERYTHING you have given to us.

little or big.

God bless bro, take care as always.

Happy Valentine’s.

To Kevin; another really, REALLY close brother.

thanks for all yeahh?

for the support, friendship and fun these years.

I absolutely enjoyed swimming at Mariott, and don’t worry imma sign up for swimming soon.

btw, who’s your Valentine??

Cause every relationship you’ve been in so far didn’t turn out so good.

well, more luck next time, bro.

Happy Valentine’s.

To Mina aka Sticks +Iggy Boy; by far the most talented girl I know, she can do almost EVERYTHING. bestfriend, team mate (dodgeball.)

aloha! *does the gnarly thingy* :DD

Had fun in dodgeball?? I know I did ;PP

though I suck out of my head at playing basketball. HAHA

Anywayyz, thanks for the fun, the hitting and the crazy LOL-ing.

rubber metal. pffft.

Happy V’day to you and Iggz.

GNARLY MAN.

\...__

To Qawi; a great friend and music connoisseur.

dude, where were you today??

Totally missed Valentine’s.

Not that anything happened but yeah.

haha, thanks for everything you’ve given me &&

thanks for being a real good friend for like, a year now.

ooooh, not to mention all the ChokiChoki moments we had. XPP

You and I practically love all the same bands minus the Sex Pistols.

I’ve never really actually heard anything from them.

But MyChemRo, The Academy Is…, FOB you and I share.

Love ya bro!! See you on Sat yeah?

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Barry & Richelle; haha, another cute pair.

boo~

I’ve got a pretty good feeling bout you guys so don’t screw it yea?

Thkez for bein’ real good to me all this time,

thkez for all the help (Richelle)

thkez for all the pinching (Barry)

HAHA. I love you both (:

Happy V’day.

Afif & Azim; players, brothers, bestfriends.

Yaww!

Hey Zim, sorry I can’t make it to the v’day thingy today. ehe.

Thkez anywayys, for everything we had for the past few years.

--Wait, I’ve known you since 1^st grade. Whatever.

Thankyou Afif, for being so freaking helpful while we were seatmates.

I miss you already!

Why do teacher’s have to be so darn picky?!?

Anyway, thanks for our short yet delirious episodes together,

I’ve enjoyed it, no doubt. (:

Thanks for all chum!

(You don’t know how tired I am of mentioning that xp)

Happy Valentine’s to you both.

Faizshah & Najib; no comment.

Eyy Faizshah, you ahh curang me. :PPP

anywayyz, how can I forget you guys?

Always flirting with some girl haha lmao much.

It’s been real great with you guys, now where’s my Valentine gift??

HAHA. well, I’ll see ya’ll yeaa?

Cheers mates.

Happy Valentine’s.

To the rest of the *Rejekts; Danice, Jackie, Camille, Shin and Argil; bestfriends since God-knows-when.

hey girls! and guy ;]]

umm what can I say?

thankz for the times we shared together, and though we aren’t that close much,

you guys are a piece of me now. HAHA.

well, thank you again, for everything you guys and I had.

I love you guys!!

Need I say more?

haha, Happy Valentine’s.

To all cousins, & relatives who happen to be reading this and who I have not see in a couple of years now.

Heyy guys!!

I miss you all so much, and I can hardly wait to see you guys this June.

Hang in there okay??

haha, I love you all and thanks for the love back. ;D

Happy Valentine’s.

To whom it may concern.

Sorry for not mentioning you guys haha.

But there’s a load of you so I’m gonna be straight;

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN’T SO GREAT.

happy Valentine’s day.

To the one who stole my heart; a certain jackass.

I don’t want it back okay, I just want yours in exchange.

No really.

Happy Valentine’s Day love.

So that’s about it. Cheers.

“..And I want to be free,

talk to me

I can hear you falling.

And I wanted to be

all you need,

Somehow here is gone.”

-Goo Goo Dolls; Here Is Gone

Labels: deep stuff, people

“..I’ve never tried to make the best of my time,

When I thought that I had plenty of it.

Is this serious?

I don’t know what to think.

Is it all a lie?

Well one thing’s for sure

I'm taken back to the glory days

When we were kids without a brash or bitter thing to say

Now my life is one big make it, or break it.”

current listen: The Phrase That Pays; The Academy Is…

Sounds like fun no? ;]] yeaa, it was worthwhile. Since Ella moved to Saint G’s, we’ve missed her a lot. Like a lot, a lot.

And today we got to see her again! weeeeeee~

Here’s an account of our hangout:

2.00pm: went to the Mall, from Nikk’s house. lookin’ for Ells & Nats. Found `em. Hugged much. apparently some guy tried to hit one Ells. LMAO, but she was ‘taken’. I intro’d Nicholle and Nats since they’ve never met but I guess they’d click so yea.

2.15pm: went to Swensen’s. on the restaurants outside walls there were heart shaped cards with messages on it for Valentine’s Day. hahah awesome! Rona did one, she told me, I tried to look for it but there were hundreds of cards and I couldn’t find it so I left it and went inside. lmao, Nats and Ells WON’T stop giggling, to tell the truth it was kinda embarrassing, but they are who they are rite? I was kinda annoyed, and I bet everyone at Swensen’s was too. HAHA, they kept LOL-ing for absolutely NO reason, gosh. ohh yeaa, the water-spilling-all-over-my-shorts-making-people-think-I-pissed-all-over incident. GOSH. I was like, hey! watch the water, since they serve like water before you eat and all. while I was movin’ it to safety, one of the glasses tipped over and, get this, spilled ALL OVER my shorts. *gags. I was like, oh man, I look like I pissed. I had to like, cover it with my jacket, and I look ridiculous. lucky tho, it dried right before we left the restaurant. blehh. Anyway, Ells and Nats were doing incredibly stupid stuff, like wacking each other with the Valentine roses. LMAO. I just sat there and pretended I wasn’t with them. HAHA. After spilling water all over my shorts (actually they aren’t even shorts, they’re like a lil below the knees but I dunno what to call them, so let’s just say shorts yea?), we took our order. Ells ordered Sticky Chewy (which Nats calls ‘sticky cheese’), Nats the-- well I forgot, Aikks some fries, Nicholle a Root Beer float and me Rodeo Wings. YUM :PP we ate, took some photos while the two SG’s girls lmao-ed and effed `emselves up.

3.00pm: headed off to the CD shop, y’kno the one which is like orange all over? love it! :DD just went over to look for the Plain White Ts; Every Second Counts album, and yes I found it. well, Ells did but yeah whatever.

3.20pm: went to the Arcade. I’m not a fan of it, but just tagged along (: The 4 of `em bought tokens while I looked around the Arcade. Noisy. Crowded. Noisy. Dark. ahh well, just check it out. They got like, 5 tokens and we tried out DDR first. I wasn’t bad, but I wasn’t too good either ;pp I missed a lot actually. haha embarrassing much. I played with Aikks then Ells. after checking that one out, we went into the karaoke booths and started singin’ like CRAZYYY. People were lookin’ at us. haha, wasn’t it supposed to soundproof?!? what?? anywayyz, Ells was SO frikkin’ LOUD I couldn’t hear myself sing, which I don’t do too good either. we sang like, Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer, then I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing and after Time After Time. hahah WE SUCK. but it’s the memories that count roight? then Ells saw ZatZat her twin ahaha they hugged like MAD and kept jumping around in the tiny booth. hahahah we couldn’t fit anymore, that’s why Nicholle and Nats had to get out. and oh yeaa, we saw Kienthly and some guy from school, one of those repeaters from 9E. well, after singing those songs, awfully I might add, we went out. Only to find Zat on the DDR. Sweating like mad. and dude, HE IS FREAKIN’ AWESOME AT DDR. shoiiiite. the arrows were comin’ one after the other and his feet moved like crazy!! plus he didn’t miss a single one. man, how does he do that huh? I was like do you have this at home? And he shook his head and I was like WHAT?!? no way. Then Ells said that he came here often and got lots of practice. Well, it certainly worked. After dancing like a pro, a crowd eventually gathered around him. Well not really, but there WERE onlookers. And after each stage we were like cheering him on. Go Zat! We watched him for about 15 minutes, then left.

4.30pm: On they way out, we saw Paths, Ron and Jon. whom by the way, I have NOT seen in quite a while now. He’s changed, that Jon. he no longer seems like the Mikko I know. *sigh. He looks like one of those emo kids who’ve got nothing to do in life. I’m sure he isn’t like that, but he sure LOOKS like it. anyway, Paths dragged me off back into the Arcade and onto the DDR machine. I was like no, no, no I’m no good, really. And she was like, just get on! No, no, no not with a lot of people watching at how awful I am at it. x/ hahaha Zat was still on it though, so I chatted with Ron (he’s gittin’ taller :DD). He was wondering about what Valentine’s gift he should give to Eunice. He wanted to make a card, but I told him its getting’ kinda old. He wanted it to be something she won’t forget. So I said how about a serenade? That would be soooooo sweet. And she would definitely NOT forget that. ;DD but he was reluctant, sayin’ he ain’t so good at the guitar front, and I was like who cares?!? It’s the thought that counts y’kno. Well, I’ll let him decide. Then I saw Kix and Justeen come in, and I was like heyy. :D After chatting with them all, I went on my way trying to look for the girls.

4.50pm: found them, smack in the middle of the ground floor. Haha, they saw me immediately, far as I am from them (3^rd floor). I took the escalator down. I looked around me. In front were three guys, clad in black. One had Avenge Sevenfold printed on the back and had that emo fringe on him. Likewise, with the other two. The mall is filled to the brim with these kind of people, y’kno like all-black-eyeliner-checkered-sneaks-and-frowns attire. Ever since ‘emo’ came in last year, everyone’s all black. yiikes. most of them posers even, claiming they slit their wrists yesterday or carved their love interest’s name on their arms or have blotched eyeliner and absolutely no interest in life or something. annoying, really. As for me? I kinda went through that stage, in a different way. I kinda developed an interest in emo/gothic art. Then everybody started calling me ‘emo’ and I was like, okay yeah whateverr. as if. Emo people don’t smile, do I not smile?? I think not. get a life, people.

4.54pm: anywayy, I reached the last floor and we walked to DQs, since I wanted I blizzard. yum! :P Kit Kat Blizzard, Regular. How much? 4.50. Okay. Just one? Yup. Ells and Nats went to the ladies room, as Aikks, Nicholle and me waited for my order. They came back and I got my blizzard. We went upstairs to the skylights thingy. It’s this huge stained glass window on the second floor and looks really pretty so we went up there. There were 3 couples there already slumped upon the railings facing the window, and I sat down next to em, while the girls sat against the wall. I tried finishing my blizzard but I didn’t so I gave it to Ells. We took photos, the last ones and left the place.

5.00pm: Hugged last and said our byes. I’m gonna miss Ella, cause only God knows when I’m going to see her next. Nats? I’m gonna see her tomorrow anyway so it don’t matter. Nicholle? I’m freakin’ going back to her house again so what’s the point? Aikks? Likewise mate. Anywayy, we took a group photo for remembrance, and said goodbye.

5.10pm: Back at Nicholle’s apartment. Her room’s nice to say the least, it’s so cozy and she has this flat screen computer and a TV. Her mom asked us to eat, and even though we were too full (I ate barbequed satay sticks, rodeo wings and a blizzard), I managed to get down some spaghetti. Or spaghatto, as my Kuya calls it. HAHA XDD We watched a little TV, while waiting for our rides. We took more photos for memories and at around 6 Aikks left. While waiting, I watched some videos on YouTube. What I liked in particular is The Phrase That Pays by The Academy Is… It’s about this guy who gets sick and regrets that he never did anything about his life. Brilliant. Their songs are bloody awesome and I just love Will Beckett. He is SO cute. no kidding. He is just, different from what the others like. You know, Ells is in love with Pete Wentz and Aikks has her eye on Pat Stump. Well, it’s not like we’re gonna hook up with them, plus they’re over 20, but a girl can have a celebrity crush can’t she? well, mine’s Will. love that smile. (: Halfway through the Phrase That Pays I had to leave. *sniff. XP said goodbye to Nicholle, thanked her parents for inviting me over and left.

So hey, here I am, writing this blog.

Anywayy, I’ve got to go.

If you were paying any attention at all, the last time I ate something was at around 5.15 and my stomach is craving for some food.

:PP mmm Rodeo Wings.

Labels: hanging around, holidayys, people, weekends

Labels: hanging around, holidayys

Broken

This fragile thing now

And I can't

I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't

I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up

And I give up

I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go

Scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only

My only one

Made my mistakes

Let you down

And I can't

I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't

I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up

I feel like giving up

I won't walk out until you know

Here I go

Scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only

My only one

Here I go so dishonestly

Leave a note, for you my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go

Scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one, no one like you

You are my only

My only one

My only one

My only one

My only one

You are my only

My only one

-Only One; Yellowcard.

 I could talk about a million things, but they'd all get lost the moment i look into your eyes.

you know, last night I looked up at they sky and saw the brightest of stars.

I asked wished upon it and it said I could have it. All I had to do was wait.

And I will wait, no matter what, till it comes.

Labels: deep stuff, random

"..Forced to the wall, the record skips and this satellite sense is detecting...

You run for cover.

A nightmare, a vision, a quota, a reason

You take shots, my back's turned, you're gutless.

You think you're saving face but first things first,

This is a matter of egos and how every single shot you take is taken in weakness and vain.

Place your bets; it's a matter of context."

current listen: In Our Defense; The Academy Is...

crazy crazy bitchy Hitler.

e is the SADDEST, CRAPPIEST ASSHOLE

I've ever known.

with his stupid stupid stupid square mustache.

FAG.

and when i say fag, i DO mean fag.

y'know like gay-ass-fag.

EWW.
he was gay, believe it or not. eff.
stupid crappy heterosexual faggot.

at least, that’s what we learned in History today. HAHA xp

still, he killed MILLIONS of Jewish people.

MILLIONS.

what the hell was wrong with him?!?

bloody Nazis.

even though that was years ago, 1940ish, it’s still incredibly terrible.

the way he killed all those poor kids. BLOODY MURDER.

even today, everything is corrupt, from movies to music and even cartoons.

what the bloody hell are they teaching kids?!???!?!?

blood, sex and violence.

as if we didn’t have enough already.

God help us.

with all the resources we have, there are still MILLIONS.

dying, starving, killing and corrupting lives.

if only everyone would take a step back, and realize that this is world

CRYING FOR SO MUCH MORE.

Labels: deep stuff, people, school